In a fog…

For those that are not located here in the Omaha metro area, here is your weather report…we experienced dense fog from Sunday late afternoon through Monday overnight.  It seemed to just linger and hang there and just wouldn’t go away.  It caused limited visibility, lack of energy and motivation and even some down and depressed moods.

Well, that is what I feel like today and the fog outside is gone.

The human body is amazing to me as are the concepts of psychology and sociology.  I have a great interest in why we do the things we do.  I tend to analyze (and over-analyze things)…especially when it is something I am going through myself.  So as I promised before I am going to share with you what is happening with me in the hopes that it helps one or more of you eventually.  Communication is such a key component in life and is one that I think many people don’t do enough of.  I believe in being transparent and open.  This is my life, this is what I am going through, it is an open book…read it!  Open communication not only helps with your own stress management, but also helps those around you to understand what you are going through and maybe why you are acting the way you are acting.  Let’s face it, the things we go through dictate the way we act and what mood we are in.  (Remember that 90% of behavior is governed by the unconscious mind.)

So back to my fog…
The symptoms I am experiencing are:
– Lack of claritiy and focus (limited visibility…hence the fog)
– Mind racing and jumping from one thing to the next
– Ocassional feelings of nervousness/anxiety
– Fatigue (who am I kidding…I have felt fatigue since my little guy was born 3 months ago…LOL!)
– Lack of motivation/energy
– General feeling of sadness (though I am still able to maintain a somewhat chipper demeanor!)

Now the analyzing:
(I feel like I should be lying on a couch for some reason…wonder if I should charge myself for this?!)
I believe that the amount of stress I (and others in mine and my husband’s families) have seen over the last 13 months is more than a typical person sees in that amount of time.  Since December of 2011 the following has happened:
– My husband’s grandmother died
– My paternal grandfather was in a car accident and hospitalized long term
– My maternal grandfather was hospitalized battling prostate cancer and heart issues.
– My husband and I experienced a miscarriage
– My husband’s father became ill and was hospitalized long term
– We learned I was pregnant again
– We experienced complications with the pregnancy
– My paternal grandmother fell and was hospitalized for what was believed to be a stroke (and ended up being hospitalized long term)
– One of my paternal aunt’s was hospitalized and diagnosed with a rare lung disease with a grim prognosis
– I was put on temporary bed rest due to continued complications with the pregnancy
– My oldest son started preschool
– I was hospitalized for bleeding and then put on permanent bed rest
– My mom had hip surgery
– My husband’s father died
– I gave birth to our son, experienced internal bleeding and almost didn’t make it through
– My maternal grandmother had surgery on her hand
– My paternal aunt with the lung disease died
– My paternal grandfather was transitioned to hospice care
– My husband’s grandfather developed bladder cancer
– My paternal grandfather is dying and will not likely make it through the next 24-48 hours

I am sure I probably forgot something, but you get the gist of what the last 13 months have looked like for us.

So my analysis is that my mind and body are experiencing an overload of everything and trying to process the stress and that is causing the fog that I am in.  We all have known and been expecting “the end” with my paternal grandfather, but I think that with that end being so near now that it is causing me to relive everything that has led up to this.
So if you are one of the lucky ones that gets to interact with me, I apologize if I seem to be in a funk or a fog so to speak.  I am doing my best to maintain a positive attitude and a sense of normalcy for my children and for the sake of my work but I am sure that all will notice that I am just not quite “myself” today.

So I will “hug-a-mug” and try to refocus and work on the things I love…helping others acheive a healthy and happy life!  I am very excited to have so many great programs starting back up (and even some new ones happening) at work!

Here is wishing everybody a fog-free day and maybe even some sunshine!!  🙂
Make today a fantastic day!!

6 thoughts on “In a fog…”

  1. We are here for and with you. We just wish there was more we could do to get you through this. Our prayers continue to go out to our beautiful granddaughter and her families that all will find peace and maybe the fog will get better for everyone. We are so glad to be near you’al now. Don’t think we could have managed without being here to show you our love. God’s Blessings with our Love.

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    1. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!
      Love you and we are so happy you have been in town to show your love and support and help out with so many things during these difficult times!
      Can’t say thank you enough!!

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  3. Lori – as I read of your grandpa’s passing and how attitude and outlook of his last time with your children and the moments you got to make such a short time was uplifting. I know now you have seen your darkest moments as these days are just unfair and you have dealt with a lot in the past 13 months but you are also rising above and god is proven that he only gives so much as one can take. I can say from your readings I am positive you have dealt the card handed and although it stinks and it is hard you prove ech day you can make it through and you can show your children how strong your family is and your morals. I prayed for you all and wished things were different for your grandpa but he will no longer suffer – he lived a good long life and now he will care from above. Hang onto those memories and as time passes they seem to start fading but then you remember new different things and bring everything back to the front to talk about again. Hope you all are leaning on each other as you have a truly amazing family.
    Love and support sent from iowa to you!

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    1. Thank you so much Rachel! Beautiful words from a beautiful lady (inside and out)!
      I am blessed to have such an incredible family and we are all there to support each other always. We are most definitely leaning on each other and helping each other through all of this.

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